20.2 Judging Yourself

For the Word of God is living and energeoing and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating through as far as the dividing of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and is capable of judging the pondering and purposes of the heart. And there is no created thing unseen in His presence, for all are uncovered and laid bare to the eyes of Him to whom is our word of account [our story of self] in return (Hebrews 4:12-13).

Giving an account in the presence of God has become for me something utterly different from anything I once imagined. Giving an account in the presence of God is the most important thing a human ever does. It is in giving an account, as I have done, that we are totally transformed, which is our new word, the place of metamorphy.

If We Judge Ourselves. Notice the clarity of these words, now that we understand. The Word God speaks, living and energeoing, pierces through everything we are, and opens us up in full honesty, nothing hidden, nothing left out. Then, in the midst of this LIGHT, we speak those same words back to God, our account of Christ our life in return.

Paul said, “If we judge ourselves, we are not judged… are not condemned with the world” (1 Corinthians 11). As I wrote my account, I judged three aspects of my life. First, I judged myself. Second, I judged all the circumstances of my life. And third, I judged all the people who had meaningful involvement with me. Judgment is choosing between life or death. I chose life.

Into the Goodness of God. I wrote the above a few days ago. This morning I was considering the authority to move all things towards goodness and was doing so, with my Father, even though I felt raunchy. I felt a strong sensation placing me back in the move at Blair Valley with Rick Annett. All the angst of my years in the move were in that sensation. Normally, I simply place all of it into Father with me, but this time, I felt to look at it momentarily.

I said, inside myself, “I move all of my years in the move into the goodness of God.” In that moment all of my years became part of the Salvation of God, and it dawned on me that I have lived in the heavens my whole life. I JUDGED my entire life experience, and I chose LIFE.

Metamorphy through Judgment. This experience was not mental, although the mind is always aware; rather, it was living and energeoing, a surge of Spirit power altering everything inside the knowing of my spirit. Metamorphy, the transformation of my entire life, happened through judgment, through the authority of God given to me. It is a simple and personal human choice. I want my whole life to be God-with-me, and therefore, it is.

My cup is full and running over. All I have ever wanted is now given to me, and it came through my giving an account of my life inside the presence of God and in doing so, JUDGING all things, good, bad, and indifferent by Christ Jesus, that is, by Father with me.

Defining the Account We Give. My purpose in this lesson is to define “giving an account in the presence of God” as clearly as I can, as I understand it now. As Jesus said, it is the Word He speaks that judges me, yet He is not the judge by that Word, I am.

I have judged myself by the Word that Jesus speaks, and in doing so, I am “saved to the uttermost” as the Calvinists have it, but here is what the writer of Hebrews wrote. – Wherefore also, Jesus is able to save into all salvation those approaching God through Him, always living into hitting the mark for them, for their sakes (Hebrews 7:25). My whole life hits the mark dead center, by my own judgment, for Jesus has saved my whole life by His power-filled Words.

The Larger Picture. First, we must place giving Christ back to God (giving an account of word in return) into the larger picture. I want to place three words together, two which we have brought into English from the Greek and one that is Latin. Those words are Ekenosis, Metamorphy (metamorphosis/ metamorphosed), and Transubstantiation.

Now, I dislike big religious words and have used common English words in place of many. Words like this tend to become rigid religious gobbledygook that keeps Jesus far away. Inside the wondrous study of Symmorphy, however, there are a number of processes taking place, entirely from Scripture, that are simply not found in human thinking.

The Ekenosis. The Ekenosis is how God reveals Himself inside of His creation through humans. The beginning appearance of God is – He humbled Himself, and the fullness of His appearance is – Love one another.

Then, transubstantiation and our new word, metamorphy, are very close in meaning, but I would like to keep both. Transubstantiation is a Catholic term and the center of the Catholic faith; it is a word that is rightly defined by them but wrongly applied. I want to apply transubstantiation to Jesus’ side of this great process of God coming through and metamorphy to our side.

We are commanded by the gospel to BE metamorphosed.

Be Metamorphosed. And do not share the same outward pattern of expression with this age but be metamorphosed by the renewing of your mind, into proving out what is the desire of God, that which is good, well-pleasing, and complete (Romans 12:2).

We are commanded to be metamorphosed. How do we do that?

Here is another way to say the same thing. – Eat My flesh and drink My blood (John 6). Yet John 6 is the chapter of transubstantiation. We will apply the term “transubstantiation” to Jesus’ part in this process, and “metamorphy” to our part. Transubstantiation is Jesus transferring His substance to us even as He dwells inside of us and as we partake of His word.

“All Night Long.” Here is that action of Jesus. – The Words that I speak into you are Spirit and they are life (John 6:63). Remember from John 5 that this very life is the substance of God given to Jesus and then become us as He dwells in us.

Then, consider our place in Symmorphy, sharing the same form with Jesus inside of the Father. Metamorphy, “change form with” is what happens to us as we place ourselves fully into this place, into John 14:20, as we “dwell all night long” inside the presence of God. Our part inside this place is to give an account of our life.

Symmorphy and Metamorphy. The purpose of our being metamorphosed, according to Paul in Romans 12, is to prove out the desire of God, which we know is the Ekenosis. God desires above all things to be known by all inside His creation through us, “God incarnate.” The final section of this text is the Ekenosis and the role of the Church in our humanity, many together as one. There, we will develop some of these terms more specifically.

Then, Sym-morphy, sharing the same form, is the larger term, encompassing everything inside our present and ongoing reality. Meta-morphy is technically the same, that is, with-form, but it means “coming into harmony by being with.” Paul’s opposite is the “pattern of expression” (harmony with) of this age.

An Active Process. Indeed, that is the meaning of the new worldly term, “metaverse,” come into harmony with the new patterns of expression found in the digital and “transhuman” world, into our self-made “truth,” literally, “be with the new truth.”

Our metamorphy happens specifically by the WORDS Jesus speaks into us, all the words of the gospel. But we are not passive in this process, for it is a process of faith and faith is very active on our part.

I am the judge, and I must judge. I do judge, and I will judge every moment of my life by the words Jesus speaks. And this is what I have done from 1998 until today, and especially in the writing of my life story.

Coming into Harmony. February of 1998 was the first time when I judged myself by the word God speaks. I did not know I was doing that and so I imagined it to be the lowest point of my Christian life. I judged that I had lost all hope that I would ever be pleasing to God. I imagined that to be a bad thing, I did not know that the lights had just turned on.

Here is the word by which I judged myself, though I knew it not. – Apart from Me, you can do nothing. – Of myself, I can do nothing. – No sufficiency in ourselves. Coming into harmony with these words was the beginning of true metamorphy in my life. Now, for the first time, I was able to be metamorphosed inside of living and energeoing Word.

Two Words. God placed two trees in the garden, both out from Himself, and He placed two words in the Bible, also out from Himself. Here is the center and core of those two words. The heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). Laid against – Christ lives in my heart through faith (Ephesians 3:17).

In December of 2001, with John Eldredge’s help, I judged myself absolutely by both of these words together. Out from my first true judgment that I am incapable of pleasing God, I fled from Jeremiah 17:9, a true word in which no one can live, and I judged myself utterly by Ephesians 3:17. My heart is good; my heart is filled with Jesus.

One Word Between. I did not know it at the time, but the pivot between these two words, the ONE Word that allows us to flee from the first and to embrace utterly the second, is Galatians 2:20, I AM crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ.

Every single word against sin in the Bible is there for one purpose, to point us to the CROSS, that we might run through that absolute and wide-open Door into judging ourselves by Jesus alone. Jeremiah 17:9 has great purpose in the Christian life. That purpose is to impel us to flee into Jesus, something that happens only after we agree with God that we cannot please Him. Yet most Christians judge themselves only by Jeremiah 17:9 and refuse the word Jesus speaks into them, “I am your life.”

Judged by Word. This is the place of weeping and gnashing of teeth. The one who rejects Me and does not seize hold of My words has one judging him. The word which I have spoken will judge him inside the last day (John 12:48).

“I judge myself by a “heart that is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked,” and I refuse to judge myself by “Christ lives inside of my heart through faith.” The weeping comes when they know that they could easily have judged themselves by Christ in the time of their flesh, in the opportune season, in the day of salvation.

They preferred to know sin and not Christ. “I am a sinner, saved by Christ someday, but not here, and not now.”

My Criteria of Judgment. Writing my life story in the way that I have done, as giving an account of my life in the presence of God, has been the hardest task I have ever set myself to do. I want to give the reasons why this has been so difficult, but first, I must give the criteria by which I judge myself.

I judge myself, every moment and circumstance in my life, every action I did and every word I spoke, AND every person involved with me in any meaningful way, by two things. I judge myself and my circumstances first out from the substance that is Christ. I judge myself and my circumstances second towards long-term gain, that is the Father’s desire.

Judging by Substance. To judge myself by substance, I must first look straight into Jesus, to His operation inside of me, and into every Word that He is already written all through my heart. Jesus is able to do transubstantiation; I am not. Jesus causes the substance of the Word that He is to become my own human substance with no need for my outward appearance to change.

In the Catholic definition, the bread still looks like bread and the wine still looks like wine, but by the power of the priest, they are, in fact, Christ Jesus by substance. In God’s definition, I still look like me and every particle of my life remains the same outwardly. But I reject outward appearance; I walk by faith and not by sight. I know only the true trans-substance of Jesus, now become my flesh and my life.

Judging for Long-Term Gain. Judging myself by substance is Covenant; judging myself for long-term gain, then, is Kingdom.

To judge myself for long-term gain, I must first look straight into the Heart of God to KNOW His desire. God’s desire goes in two directions at once. On the one side, He desires Christ to return to Him carrying all creation back into His knowing. And on the other side, He desires to be known as He is inside of His creation through us.

For this to happen, there must be ALL reconciliation and ALL restoration among ALL. By moving every moment and circumstance of my life into the goodness of God, with thanksgiving, I win the Father’s desire, which is the greatest of all long-term gains.

Eye to Eye. Difficulty 1. I have faced every person I had some involvement with in my life, in my mind’s eye, as if face to face and eye to eye, both those whom I sinned against, and those who sinned against me, to place the Lord Jesus Christ upon myself and upon them in that moment.

Every season of my life was filled with agony and with what I judged to be every kind of falling short. How could I ever judge myself by Christ in all this mess? Two things only – “I am incapable of ever pleasing God,” and – “My heart is good; my heart is filled with Jesus.” Or, we could say it this way. – “Stay inside of Me even as I stay inside of you, for apart from Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:4).

Christ or Sin? Our judgment is to put the Lord Jesus Christ upon ourselves by the command of the gospel. All humans place sin upon themselves first and easily; it is an act of faith to place Christ instead. “I did this awful thing to her. He did this awful thing to me. I am a sinner. He is a sinner. We all fall short; we are all condemned.” This IS our human judgment except we eat His flesh and drink His blood, that is, except we judge ourself in every instance by every Word that is Jesus.

Placing our sin upon Jesus, all the way through our life, is the only judgment that becomes our salvation. It is the Mercy Seat; it is judgment inside of fire.

“I Am in Their Account.” Difficulty 2: The horrendous realization that every single person with whom I had some involvement throughout the course of my life IS, right now, giving an account inside the presence of God concerning my impact on their life, whether it was good or whether it was evil, an account that is made public to all.

The idea that you are going to keep something hidden is utter foolishness. It MUST come into the light. The wicked thing you did to that person MUST be resolved. You will face it in their presence, you will admit all wrong, you will ask forgiveness, and you will give all true restitution.

Those Christians who put this off until after they are “in heaven,” dishonor the Father’s desire. Those who face and resolve all now win all long-term gain, a place in Father’s Heart.

The Result of Justice. Difficulty 3: The desire of our Father and the quality of His justice requires me to make those who hurt me the most into my best friends forever, that I must call them to be so inside my present account, and that I must judge, even their involvement in my life, by Christ.

Do you see how God placed Claude Mack into my life, from our first conversation in December of 1980 to his memorial service in May 2021, forty years of involvement? This was the most difficult man towards me in my community experience and my father-in-law. God made sure that every word He gave me inside the present season of Union and Symmorphy, that I had to judge Claude’s continual presence in my life by that Word of goodness and truth. The Father requires friendship of all.

“Actions” of Judgment. When we say that it is Jesus who comes into union with us first before we could ever know union with Him, we are saying that, by His mighty power, Jesus takes the substance of Spirit Word that He is and transfers that substance, with His own Person in it, into our human APPEARANCE. This transfer of substance to our appearance is transubstantiation, that is, Christ as us.

I speak the same word that is Christ that I might know Jesus living as me already. I see every moment of my life as all goodness, coming entirely out from Him. I set my place inside the Father’s Heart with Jesus in glory, and I call myself by His name, Father sharing all of my life with me.

“Aspects of Judgment. It is the Spirit that gives me life, outward appearance means nothing; the words that Jesus speaks into me are Spirit, one spirit with me, and they are my only life.
I define myself by the ruling verses of the Gospel and by all their companion verses. That which does not fit what Jesus speaks is not me. I judge it as far separate from me. Yet nothing of my humanity is separate from Jesus, for I share flesh with Him.

Judging my whole life by Christ alone and not by any outward appearance, then, is the only thing that changes me, for real, from the inside out. I cannot accept any superficial change. He that has the Son has the life. This is the very Life of God; this is my judgment of myself. I have the Son; I possess Life.

Metamorphy. What has happened in me, then, as I have worked my way through this process, in tears inside the pain, in great gulps of agony as I have received each person in my life regardless? We call it metamorphy. My entire life has come into harmony with the singing of Jesus and with every Word that He speaks. My whole life has become one seamless story of Christ. My whole life is redeemed and everything in it, as I have brought all that is me into the All-Salvation that is Jesus.

The next lesson is our human judgment of others. Before we get there, however, I want to establish how it is that we now possess all authority to judge all humans by the Word Jesus speaks. – And I saw thrones and they sat upon them and judgment was given to them (Revelation 20:4).

Bow the Knee and Speak Christ. That inside of the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, every heavenly knee, every earthly knee, and every under-earthly knee and every tongue should speak the same word, that is, the Lord Jesus Christ, penetrating into the glory of God the Father (Philippians 2:10-11).

To bow the knee is to give thanks inside of and for the sake of all things. To bow the knee is to say, “I am incapable of ever pleasing God.” To speak the same word that is Jesus is to speak Christ made personal as me in every moment of my life. It is to say, “My heart is good; my heart is filled with Jesus.” It is to acknowledge every good word of Christ inside of me.

I have judged every particle of my life by Christ, without pretense or guile, standing fully in the light. “Here am I.”

Towards My Own Life First. I have all the authority of God to synergeo with Him to make all things good. It is my confidence in God that makes it so. Yet my authority must begin towards my own life first. Little power will flow out from me to turn things beyond me into the path of intrinsic goodness unless I first turn every circumstance and person in my own life into ALL-GOOD and All-God.

This is not a mental exercise, but the power of His Spirit-filled Words. Because I have done this, because I have eaten of His flesh and drunk of His blood, nothing is withheld from me.

The Lord has said to Me, ‘You are My Son, today I have begotten You. Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for Your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for Your possession (Psalm 3:7-8).

A River of Life. Adam judged himself by the tree of knowing right and wrong. The immediate result was that he became utterly ashamed of looking like God in weakness followed by blaming everything and everyone else. The long term result was a river of death bringing sin and death to everyone.

I judge myself by the tree of life, by a man stumbling under a cross He cannot carry, Father revealed. The immediate result is that being human in weakness, just like Jesus, is just the most exciting thing one could ever be. My life is filled with such happiness followed by the joy of synergeoing with Father to call all things into goodness.

The long term result is a river of life flowing out from me bringing life and joy to all creation.