47. Time to Turn Around

© 2021 Daniel Yordy
December 2013 – May 2015

A Most Difficult Break
Chris Welch interpreted my letter, “Church,” as a direct correction of him. This was not entirely true concerning that letter, but it was true concerning “Two Women or One?” Nonetheless, as I look back through “Church,” it is easy to see why Chris would assume I was speaking of him. However, in my mind was only my experiences from the past.

If I had to walk through this same thing over again, I would respond in the same way.

Here is the gist of what I wrote. ~ When a corrector begins to “correct” others in a fellowship of believers, those who truly know the Lord are simply amazed. It is so plain that this corrector is talking only of him or herself, yet foisting their own judgment of themselves upon others as if the problem is the others and not the false self. Let me give the absolute law of all church. Whatever you do, say, see, feel, or do to others you ARE doing it to Me.” Notice the “doing to.” Church is doing things with each other; not-Church is doing things to each other. ~

Then I wrote this ~ I cannot be in the same room as scorn. When I see scorn, not as human foolishness, but as deep-rooted theology, then I can only get as far away as I can as fast as I can. It is not any judgment of others; it's simply God. ~

In speaking of scorn, I was speaking of Rich Novek’s words inside the Facebook fellowship, as I shared in the last chapter. The entrance of those words would require my exit from that group.

I received an email from Chris Welch. This was mid-December. There was no personal reference in this email, no asking of questions for understanding, no human sorrow. It was simply scathing accusations based on assumptions I did not recognize. Receiving this kind of response from a man whom I thought believed in union with Christ and with whom I had a relationship of ministry, was, as you can imagine, overwhelming to me.

I replied immediately, attempting to connect with him as a person and assuring him that I had no knowledge of what happened in the group between him and the sister.

Shortly after, I received an email that Chris Welch sent out to a large group of people, some whom I knew and many whom I did not. This was not an email to me; I was just added as a recipient. I did not read the entire email, nor do I remember it well. But it was about me, how I was false and how the ridiculous things I taught were false.

I have rarely experienced something more frightening to me than to be publicly denounced as a false teacher by a brother whom I had thought was a friend.

As I laid down in my bed soon after, I faced a ring of demonic personages, just outside of my sphere, but pressing in close, screaming every curse of condemnation against me. I did not regard them, but I reached up, in my mind’s eye as it were, and I took Jesus’ face in my hands. I said twice, with all fervency, “Jesus, You ARE my life. Jesus, You are my LIFE!”

In that moment all the darkness vanished and I knew only the closeness of my Savior.

It is not my purpose either to justify myself or to lay any blame upon Chris Welch. In giving an account of my life, I must share only how I perceived things at the time, what I did and why. I know firsthand that his account of this circumstance is very different from mine.

The insertion of vitriol into the Facebook fellowship, completely separate from me, had already persuaded several members to remove themselves. I also removed myself from it, only to find that Chris had put me back in immediately after. I think he did the same with some others. Then, even more left, for the Spirit of the Lord no longer seemed to be inside that connection.

I wrote a much stronger email to Chris, treating him with respect as a person and as a brother. Nonetheless, I was specific concerning his accusations against Joel Osteen, that they were without purpose and had no part in union with Christ. Before sending this email to Chris, however, I first shared it with Kathy MacDonald and with Annalize Mouton. I very much needed their input and covering. Their responses back to me were wonderful and encouraging. In fact, this whole episode had left them feeling much the same as I.

The email I received back from Chris in response to this final entreaty was again void of any personal communication. Rather, the words in it were the full expression of what I would call religious bullying. In essence, it seemed that Chris’s “anointing” was the lead, and I would find a place in God only by submitting to his “superior” ministry. He said, concerning his words against Joel Osteen, “I call it like I see it.” You will find me referencing that line on occasion from then until now.

I then wrote him a final email. In it I asked him to remove all reference to me from the front of his website, though I left him free to keep my articles that were scattered throughout his blog. I also stated that I would not open any further emails, so there was no point in sending them.

Chris sent two or three more emails to me, packing harsh words into the subject line. I simply deleted them. I do not give bullying any place in my life. In order to prevent him from inserting himself into my Facebook pages, I unfriended him on Facebook.

 It is my intention to share here all my further interaction with Chris Welch rather than bring it back into future chapters.

Cutting off religious bullying as I did is not typically an easy thing for most people. And so Annalize Mouton received several long emails from Chris Welch. She shared some of them with me, wanting my response. Through all this, I also kept Kathy MacDonald in the loop, for I needed both their anointings.

I would describe the emails that Annalize received as filled only with religious manipulation, an exaltation of “my (Chris Welch’s’) anointing” and how important it is to everyone. I did the best I could to strengthen and encourage Annalize and advised her to cut off any communication with Chris. Again, that’s not easy for most. Finally, a few months later, I received another email from Annalize, sharing with me another email sent to her from Chris Welch. At that particular time, I was feeling overwhelmed, and so I did not open it.

Some years later, I was going back through things and I found that unopened email from Annalize. I opened it and read this further email that Chris Welch had sent her, longer than the others and much, much worse.

This is another one of those places where I greatly sorrow over my searing inability, that I was not able to be the strength and help to Annalize when she needed it. Please forgive me, my dear sister.

Then, sometime in 2019, I think, I received an email from Chris. This was over five years later, and at this point, my knowing of Father with me was much greater, and so I thought, “Why not,” and opened the email. It was just a short paragraph. Chris began by calling me stupid. I believed that what he meant was that I was stupid for cutting off those who would seek to control me or the word I must share. Then he went on to threaten me, something along the lines that I would be punished by people. He concluded by speaking what seemed to me to be a curse against me. At this point in time, I was not deeply affected by these things, just the normal sorrow of the Lord.

Finally, just a few months ago, as I was preparing to write this part of my account, I ventured back onto Chris Welch’s blog. I had not looked earlier to see if he had removed me from the front of his site as I had asked, but I saw that he had. My curiosity always gets the better of me, however, and so I clicked on the link that would take me to my articles posted on his site. They were all still there.

Then I noticed something awful in the list and clicked on it. There I found the emails I had sent to Chris in personal and private confidence, including those for which I had asked Kathy and Annalize for their witness. Arrayed against them were Chris’s emails to me, which I had not opened. The introduction to this set of emails was an invitation to the reader to judge between him and me.

I was aghast; I certainly did not continue reading. If I had known in December of 2013 that my private emails to Chris were made public soon after, it would have been more than I could have borne. The Lord protected me by my not knowing. Nonetheless, I could see that the threat Chris made in his last short email to me was not to be disregarded. I am well aware that my sharing of this circumstance could lead to further recriminations. This is part of why I stalled for four months in writing this account. Yet I know that no weapon formed against me can prosper and that I am utterly safe inside my Father sharing all things with me.

Lord Jesus
“Lord Jesus, the sorrow You bear for Your Church is very great, no matter how confident You are in being the Salvation of God. It is such a privilege, Lord Jesus, that You want to share that same sorrow with me, that I might know You in all things.”

Since Chris Welch wounded me inside the present word that I share, I find it harder to place him into the love of Jesus inside my heart. Yet I want to be part of Jesus so much that I am willing to do such a thing, no matter what I feel.

Rich Novek, on the other hand, was one with whom I had very little connection, not enough to be troubled by personally. Soon after, the man did go on to commit ungodly acts against those closest to him, but that is not part of my story.

“Lord Jesus, I place Chris Welch and Rich Novek entirely into You. You are such a capable Savior and You know what You are doing. I never knew Rich Novek, but I thought I knew Chris. Lord Jesus, I forgive both, and I release both from any obligation to me. Lord Jesus, You carry me always, including all my distress and limitation. I know that You keep me, even now.”

“Lord Jesus, I forgive Chris Welch and I bless him inside of You with all out-poured goodness. I ask that he would know You, Lord Jesus, and run with all joy into Your humility.”

A Second Semester at UT Tyler
I signed up for two more courses at UT Tyler for the Spring semester. Two courses at the graduate level is still considered “full-time,” plus that was all I needed for my purpose of gaining fifteen more credits in five additional English courses. I had been rubbed raw, not only by the offensiveness of Marxism, but by its underlying threat of violence, which was about to get much worse.

I took “Composition Practicum” and “Studies in Composition.” Both courses were focused on how to teach the first and second-year college composition courses, that is, how to teach writing. The problem was that the Composition Practicum was not online, but at Tyler only, and thus I rented a car and drove up once a week through this second semester as well.

Dr. Hui Wu, the dean of the graduate English department, taught the online “Studies in Composition.” This course was primarily reading various educators in the field of writing and their take on teaching writing. The practicum course was on the actual teaching of college composition.

It was the practicum that became terrifying to me. It was taught by a younger lady, a full Marxist-feminist. It came clear right away that all my views on teaching writing would be challenged and struck down. By the third session, I felt that I was in danger of being called out as the enemy, as a white male Christian capitalist, all of which was true. You must understand that this is very frightening to me. I simply could not return. I wrote an email to the college department that handles student concerns, but there was no response. An older white man cannot be in the “victim class.” I could not drop the course because then I would have to give back the entire student loan. And so I drove up to the fourth session, casting myself upon the Lord the whole way up, but still quite afraid.

When I arrived in the classroom, Dr. Hui Wu entered as the replacement teacher. Apparently the previous teacher had to resign because of illness. I would never wish such a thing upon anyone, but I knew that God had intervened on my behalf. Dr. Hui Wu was one of the best teachers I have ever been privileged to sit under. Although all my classmates continued to push Marxist ideology, Dr. Wu did not. And so I was able, not only to finish the courses I needed, but to learn a whole lot that is useful.

My Writing Course
The spring semester of 2014 would be my last semester of teaching developmental writing in the community college. After this semester, they wanted me to teach in a branch much further from home, and just one course, not two. It simply wasn’t practical.

I did make some attempt to find a full-time position teaching college English. The problem was that I now knew the extent to which Marxism rules the English departments in most universities, and I was still in shell shock one might say. The Lord opened no doors in that direction.

At the end of this final time I taught my writing course, a young lady in her early thirties came up to me and said what I had heard so many times. “Mr. Yordy, I always hated writing because I did not understand it. You have taught me to write, and now it’s my favorite thing.”

Developing my writing course was the work of many years and of equal weight as building the Graham River Tabernacle. For that reason, I want to share briefly how it had become.

Through the semester, I had my students write two major papers. The first was a personal narrative and the second a simple informative essay. For both of these papers, I required three drafts. I made the first draft EASY, and then taught them how to make it more effective, one piece at a time.

Student writing is incredibly boring, primarily because of the lack of action verbs. My main purpose for the narrative was to give them something to write that they already knew well and then to teach them what I called, “Action Writing.”

Writing the second draft was the most work. I used a clever device that worked every single time. After they had all turned in their second draft, I came back the next time and “threw” it back at them, rejecting it utterly. They had not done what I required! This device was actually in my lesson plan, but disguised. Always they came back with far better second drafts.

I used rubrics for every draft, a clear explanation of what I would grade in each draft and how many points it would receive. They knew exactly what I wanted. And then, when I marked their papers, it was clear to them exactly what they were lacking, things they must, then, fix.

I always held my breath as I waited for the third draft, hoping that my teaching methods were effective. I was never disappointed. The students themselves were amazed at how well they had written their narratives. In fact, I told them that if I forgot I was reading a student paper because I was lost in their story, I would not mark anything, but just put a 100% on the top of their paper. That happened several times over the semesters I taught my course.

My principle of teaching was to teach them inside what they were writing and then to have them keep redoing it until their paper was effective. They always knew, then, exactly what they had done to make it effective. Everyone who did all that I asked got an A – AND left my classroom knowing how to write effective essays for their other classes.

I loved teaching this writing course at the college level and was very sad when that season came to an end that May of 2014.

Beginning The Feast of Tabernacles
As I continued the remaining chapters of The Two Gospels following the devastating experience that came out of writing Chapter 10 “Church,” I wrote in great sorrow, especially the letter, “Face,” which actually came right after the worst part of the interchange with Chris Welch. That letter begins thus ~ You are free of me. You most certainly do not need me or anything that I write in order for Jesus to continue living you all the way into life. You belong to Him; He lives as you; He always leads you in triumph; and He most definitely does all things well. ~

I wrote this whole chapter as my rebuttal of the practice of controlling and manipulating God’s people for one’s own self-exaltation. I might suggest that you read “Face,” in light of where it fits in my story. I count it one of the most important letters I have written. – “What happens when you correct the corrector?”

By March 7, I had finished the last chapter of The Two Gospels. Writing the second to the last chapter, Chapter 20 “The Two Gospels,” was an overwhelming experience for me, however. Yet as I realize now, it was so necessary for what is coming next.

Here is what I wrote, and I bring this in because this is a critical moment in my determination to write my way into knowing the Father at Home in me.

~~~

Okay, I have finally pulled this booklet titled “The Two Gospels” written by this Yordy fellow in 1996, but not completed and printed until early 1998. I am speechless. I had no idea. – There is almost no difference between that little booklet and the gist of what I write now. Same verses, same truths, same view of most everything. All except one thing. One thing that brought me to the loss of everything.

I have not looked back at this booklet since I left move community in late summer 1998 numb and frozen inside. Please bear with me, this is very difficult. I can share now only out from a “stream-of-consciousness” sharing of my present very real search to understand how a man could speak the same things from the same verses with a view to the same end and one speaking be darkness and death and hopeless loss and the other be light and life and unending joy.

I cannot convey to you the highest importance and greatest value of one thing alone in all the truths I have ever heard or shared. This one thing, that Jesus, my Lord and my God, drank His Father's cup, drank me, all of me, into Himself and then allowed the Father to send Him back to walk this earth again, planted now as me in all I find myself to be. Oh, oh, oh – how utterly I can cast myself into Him.

In 1996 it was all about me making it somehow into a God so far away. In 2014 it's all about Jesus carrying me all the way to the full knowledge of the Father. To know that my own gross inability to fulfill any requirements, even of the gospel, cannot remove me from Salvation nor prevent me from walking right now in full union with God.

Again, I am feeling pulverized right now, this is not easy. There is almost nothing in this booklet to refute. Yet it brought me into utter despair.

~~~

As I considered the meaning of this chapter, “Time to Turn Around,” I realized God’s purpose for my life and for the way He made me.

As an Asperger’s man, I have known a lot of internal pain, but few things give me more pain than to listen to someone lying about God and His Word. From that moment on, I am incapable of rest until I have found God’s answer to that lie, from His Word and by His Spirit. Conversely, if it is a lie that I have held in my mind, and I hear the truth spoken contrary to that lie, again, I am incapable of rest until I know what God actually says all through His Word and what He means by His Spirit.

Satan lied about God, right from the start, by accusing God of knowing evil. All Christians agree with the devil to the extent of all translators falsifying the wording of Genesis 3:22 to lie to all Bible readers that even God agreed with the devil in supporting that horrific accusation.

Sometime through these months, Kathy Macdonald sent me an email asking this question. – Why did Jesus have to die? My answer to her then was incomplete, a fact that really bothered me.

My answer now is very simple and clear. – Jesus died because that was the only way He could convince me that He was serious about winning my heart. More than that, for me to walk out from my imagined prison, I have to have a vivid picture of all the falseness GONE, taken far away from me by Someone who loves me so. In short – Jesus died for me.

Notice that inside this present answer there is no shadow of that hideous accusation that God knows evil. The removal of that shadow did not come quickly.

Consider the following layout.

A God Who Knows Evil (and good)	A God Who Thinks No Evil
All the Bible verses and all the gospel truths read and understood inside this accusation. All theology and all patterns of truth directed by and containing the shadow of this accusation.	All the Bible verses and all the gospel truths read and understood inside this Love. All definitions and all patterns of truth directed by this Love with no sense of shadow.

The box on the left is all Nicene Christianity, utterly opposed to the box on the right. Christins read what i write and they recognize how Biblical it is, but they do not recognize the God of whom I am speaking a God who does not know  evil.

Jesus told us clearly that after the first generation of the Church, Satan would enter with his own words planted into Christian thinking, and that both words would grow up side by side looking the same. That is the definition of every teaching I have ever heard in all the realms of Nicene Christianity. People see mighty things in their New Testaments and they draw near to God. Yet they keep their knowledge of the truth entirely inside the box of a God who knows evil.

Then, when the question came, “Should we pull out the tares.” Jesus said, “No.” – “No, lest you pull up the wheat with the tares.” You see, that’s what always happens anytime someone discovers that God is actually telling us the truth. They grab what they perceive to be tares, yet half of what they grab is wheat and out it all goes.

Because of the way God made me, I am just as much in agony when I discover the root of a tare as I am when I see a root of the wheat also being pulled out. I am incapable of rest until I know the full separation between the fine root hairs of the wheat from the fine root hairs of the tares. And I MUST know the difference out from what God says in the Bible and by His Spirit.

I MUST know every Bible verse and every gospel truth removed from the box on the left and known only inside the box on the right, full and intact as God means it.

Please understand, this is no mental endeavor or self-appointed crusade. This is DESPERATION inside of all agony. I cannot live without knowing Father at Home in my heart. And this desperation also includes the driving need to know what all those lies really are and from whence they come. I can find no rest until I KNOW, all through my knowing of God, a vast wall of separation between the lies and everything my Father speaks in His Word. I have to have a Bible that does not present to me a God who knows evil. I have to have a Bible in which every Word is God telling me the truth, in which every verse fits the wondrous knowledge of Christ my only life.

And I have no peace until I do.

In February of 1998, inside my great hopelessness, I imagined that I was missing the key point of the gospel. When I looked back to that moment for the first time, in March of 2014, I was absolutely shocked to discover that I was missing nothing. Instead, it was one tiny little lie sitting there inside basically the same truth I teach now, turning it all into despair.

That little lie was that all this so great Salvation was up to me, that I am the one who has to connect with God. When I KNEW, in February of 1998, that I was incapable of doing such a thing, I was honest towards God for the first time in my life. I thought I was in darkness; I did not know that God had just turned on the light.

My next writing project was my favorite of all my earlier books, The Feast of Tabernacles. Yet this was a Sam Fife/move of God topic, requiring, for the first time in my present writing, a return to the use of the Old Testament.

It was God’s time for me to remove the Old Testament and its patterns from the box of a God who knows evil and to know it all inside of a God who does not.

I was completely astonished as I looked closely at all the Old Testament verses I was using to teach the feasts and journey of Israel. Not once did I ever have to twist or bend any Old Testament reference to make it “fit,” a practice common to most. Rather, I found that the exact phrasing of Moses’ words fitted perfectly with our present understanding of our precious union with Christ and of the revelation of Christ through us His Church.

Sometime in March, I received an email from a new reader in Cape Town, South Africa, by the name of Karen Leigh. Karen had grown up inside the Jewish environment, but had drawn towards the Lord all the way through. Nonetheless, she was versed in the Jewish understanding of the Old Testament. Over the years, she has corrected me when I pull out of “what I know” when, in fact, my “remembrance” was incorrect. Because of her desire to know the Lord inside her questions, I was able to clarify this practice of using the Old Testament to know the Lord Jesus Christ our life.

Then, in the first week of April, I wrote “Seeing the Invisible One,” one of the defining moments in my walk with God. You see, at this point, I had already pondered what would be the main point of this whole study, not the actual Feast of Tabernacles itself, but rather, The Day of Atonement, one of the most important chapters I have ever written. I knew already what the critical moment would be in the pattern of the Feasts of the Lord, and that would be that moment when Aaron would turn around inside the Holy of Holies.

I want to include here the main part of “Seeing the Invisible One,” for it is critical to this time in my account. In fact, it comes out from what I had discovered when I found the one thing that was wrong in all my former thinking, the little lie that defeated me.

~~~

You and I cannot and will NEVER connect with God. The very idea is rooted in practical atheism, the denial that God is God. God, this God who already fills us full, connects with us. God is God. He alone can be God. You and I cannot make Him visible; He alone makes us His image. God conforms Himself to us. God knows how to do that; we don't.

What is our part? Faith. How is faith expressed? Three things: 1. Speaking Christ our only life. 2. Asking all that God speaks and believing that God is, right now, revealing Himself through us. That He IS!! As in IS!!!!

Did we get that – IS!!!!!! As in “I AM.” Thus, 3. Giving thanks for all things, that all things ARE God through us. All things are of God. 2 Corinthians 5. – God works all in all. 1 Corinthians 12. All things are God through us.

Every individual trying to connect with God lives in denial of the Lord Jesus Christ and His redemption. The Blood – never consider sin again. The Cross – never consider sinner again. The Resurrection – consider all that you are, spirit, soul, and body, as Christ alone, Christ your only life. Then, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around, turn around.

You cannot sit down upon the throne of heaven without turning around. You cannot be the Mercy Seat in the earth, God revealed, without turning around. God, in all things you presently experience, is now going out through you. Give Him thanks. – Salvation Revealed. You are already fully connected to God.

~~~

The truth is, in my own walk with God, it was now time for me to turn around, to be in all confidence the entrance of God into my world through my weak humanity and through utter trust in Him. I was now ready to move every tiny aspect of the redemption wrought by the Lord Jesus out from the box of a God who knows evil and into the box of a God who does not. And to do so in answer to Kathy’s question – Why did Jesus have to die?

In May, I wrote “The Form of God” and saw the Ekenosis truly for the first time as God now coming into our world through us. Right after that, God established in me the true meaning of redemption. Jesus did not die “for God”; Jesus died for us, for our sakes.

In July, then, I wrote “The Day of Atonement,” working into my own knowing the certainty of turning around. This was then followed by “Thinking Like Jesus,” that is, without consciousness of any separation from God, followed by the first entrance of “sharing Heart with God.” I was now ready for the next great shift God was about to give me in my knowledge of the Father.

Dr. Claudia Sheets
In June I was no longer teaching college. At the same time, I was still reeling from my escape out of the religious Marxist hate-cult that rules today’s colleges. Maureen then came across an interesting advertisement offering a writing business for sale. She convinced me to look into it, which I did.

Maureen and I drove up to Murchison, Texas, not far from Tyler, to visit with the owner of this business, Dr. Claudia Sheets, and her husband. We had a great visit with them in their home. We had no money, of course, and thus buying the business was impractical unless I was working inside of it and the transfer could take place slowly. Dr. Claudia agreed to give me a trial run writing for her.

The business was ghost-writing doctoral dissertations for graduate students in the field of education attending a particular college in Florida. These educators had completed all their course work, but because their gift was not in writing, they were stalled in the completion of their degrees. In any other arena this would be called “cheating.” I justified my participation in this business by the realization that these are people who are superb educators, but who may not be skilled at writing. All humans are gifted in some things and not in others, that’s why we need one another.

A doctoral dissertation in education has three parts of about equal length, around 30 pages for each part, the proposal, the literature review, and then the actual experiment with its statistical results. Dr. Claudia offered me the opportunity to write the middle part, that is, the literature reviews. Of truth, my course work at UT-Tyler had prepared me well to do this very thing. I enjoyed it and I was good at it.

At the end of June, I received my first pay check from Dr. Claudia for doing a trial two-pages to her satisfaction. She had agreed to pay me $75 per double-spaced page. Of course, writing the literature review was only the second half of the task. Finding the right research articles in the many educational journal databases and weaving them into my pages was the first half of the task.

My first large literature review in July was “After-School Remedial Reading.” This was my first introduction to how to teach reading. This was followed by “Educator Professional Development,” and then, “Character Education in Junior High” in August.

Here’s the thing. I have counted each one of these literature reviews as equaling a three-credit course at the graduate level. And yes, each was that much work and learning for me, even though I spent about thirty hours in each study. The thing is, I do work about three times as fast as the normal graduate student. But I do so only in short spurts, entirely dependent on how much sleep I get.

Even while I was still teaching at Family Christian, not getting enough sleep had begun to be a problem. Now it was pervasive. I did well to have two mornings a week in which I could write. When I had such a mind, everything was clear to me and the flow just poured through my brain. But when I looked at the same stuff after not-enough sleep, nothing made any sense and I could not see any part of the picture. I could make four to five hundred dollars on a morning I had enough sleep, and zero on all the other mornings. And so, I embarked on a quest to improve my ability to sleep well enough, a quest that went nowhere.

As of this summer of 2021, I do know what has kept me from sleeping, that is, sinus membranes that are out of kilter and hurting, especially when I am lying flat. An operation is the only solution, other than sleeping sitting up in my chair. In 2014, I had no knowledge of this.

Another School Year
Kyle had completed his electrical training at San Jacinto College in the summer of 2014 and then was accepted into the electrical union after which he was hired by Wayne Electric as an apprentice electrician. At first, Kyle worked on a new sports arena at the University of Houston, but by September, he switched over to working in a new hospital building in the Houston hospital district. This was a long-term job.

In October, Kyle and Will Fonder leased an apartment together about four miles away, and thus Kyle left home a second time. He and Will were in and out of our home quite often, however.

Johanna began her second year at Kingwood College in the cosmetology program. Katrina was now in her final year of high school at C.E. King, continuing in theater and choir. James was in ninth grade and thus had moved over to the high school. James joined the high school marching band, playing his French horn. Maureen continued her long hours of caring for Mrs. Melba Turner in Kingwood.

I wrote three major literature reviews through these fall months. In September, I wrote “Concussion in High School Sports.” This was outside of my box, partly in the medical field, and thus a fascinating learning experience. Then in October was “Job Satisfaction,” and my first literature review for teaching writing, “Writing Blogs.” And I include most of these because learning is very important to who I am.

Tabernacles to Union
I finished The Feast of Tabernacles right around the time of Tabernacles, in October. I was astonished at the fact that after writing that entire book, I still had little idea what God means by the fulfillment of Tabernacles in the life of the Church. Only three chapters were devoted to Tabernacles, and those were only a vague outline. This lack was something I pondered deeply.

Around that time, I received a question from a union-with-Christ brother in the Netherlands concerning the issue of “responsibility before God.” I wrote a letter in response, and then three more to finish my response. This direction of writing then became my series, Musings on Union.

Near the end of October, I had a dream that was profoundly of the Spirit. Let me share what I wrote in “Double or One.”

~ In my dream, I saw Charity Titus and my mother (both of whom have passed on) sitting across from each other at a little restaurant table. I knew that Charity had purposefully sought out my mother (who had visited at Blueberry and knew Charity) in order to reconcile with her. As I greeted them, Charity stood (there was no more wheel chair) and spoke words of present encouragement into me. Part of what she said to me was that, even though she had not understood my outer shell, she had always deeply admired me and seen a depth of the grace of God within me.

Then I awoke. In my awakened state, Charity Titus came to me, as I sensed in my spirit, and said to me: “Daniel, I was so wrong in how I perceived you and how I treated you. Will you please forgive me.”

I willingly and with all my heart forgave her. And in so doing, I understood that Charity is right now in the heavens, focusing her intercession and the believing of Jesus inside of her upon the victory of Christ through me right now upon this earth, through Daniel Yordy, and that she has joined purposefully with my mother for that very purpose.

You have no idea what it means for me not only to say that, but to know that it is true.
In that one moment, Charity Titus passed entirely out from the pain and confusion, fear and vulnerability, and became part of the strength and joy that fills my heart and propels me forward.

I am so glad. I am so very glad.

That had to happen first, before I could ever consider what happened next. A few days later, in the middle of the night, as I was standing in the strength of my spirit in warfare against the remaining voices from that time, I faced Lloyd Green once again (see Chapter 22, “Glory Against Shame”). I kicked him, Jesus and I, just as hard as we could, with a full kangaroo kick in the chest, right out of my life.

I stood up for myself, and Jesus stood up with me for us. ~

~~~

Here’s the thing. All the healing God had taken me through up until this moment was extensive, yes, but none of it had touched the pain in me that came with any memory of my time at Blueberry, memories that came quite frequently. This moment, when Sister Charity came to be my present support and when I first removed the awfulness of that experience with Lloyd Green, was now the beginning of healing towards Blueberry, a healing that did not become complete until I had finished my account of that time in this text.

Was that actually Sister Charity and my mother? I believe that it was.

I continued to write Musings on Union from October through March. Yet it seemed that I was in a “holding pattern,” waiting on something, I did not know what. Of truth, nothing stood out in my writing through those months. I understand it now as a deepening and strengthening of those things the Lord had taught me while I was writing The Feast of Tabernacles.

It was while I was writing this series that two new brothers began communicating with me. The first was Ed Carter, from Nashville, Tennessee. Ed responded enthusiastically to everything I wrote and asked me good questions, some of which became chapters in Musings. Another brother named David Wenger, from Ohio, also began asking me some really good questions through this time. My response towards David’s questions always came from the depths of my spirit.

Our Family
The first weekend of December, we all dressed up to attend Dickens on the Strand in Galveston, as was our wont. It was, as usual, a whole lot of fun. This time, we rented a room at Commodore on the Beach, a curved hotel overlooking the ocean. This way we could enjoy both days of the festivities. I bring this in, however, just for the chance to share one of my favorite family pictures with you.


Then, during Christmas break, Katrina and I drove the Suburban to Abilene, Texas, to visit Abilene Christian University. Katrina was interested in pursuing theater in college and this was a choice of such a program at a “Christian” college. We spent two nights in a motel. The streets were covered in snow. Katrina did her tryout for the drama program and we toured the university. The roads were very icy as we returned back to Houston; I had to drive really slow. Neither one of us felt a witness to pursue the Abilene school any further. I did really enjoy this time with Katrina, however, a bright warmth against a cold direction.

By the end of the semester in December, Maureen and I had come to the conclusion that the public school environment was no longer the right place for James. And so we pulled James out of C.E. King High School to be homeschooled. I did set James up with some work at home, but James is a hands-on young man and never took to academic work, that is, no more than was necessary to endure the school classroom.

We connected James with three things. First, I enrolled him into a homeschool orchestra program. I drove James up to Spring once a week so that he could play his French Horn in the orchestra. Second, we enrolled James in a two-day-a-week homeschool co-op at a church facility in Kingwood. James took a number of interesting courses offered there. James became good friends with a classmate named Will O’Farrell, a friendship that continues to this day. Finally, James devoted one day a week to volunteer work at Jesse Jones Park. In fact, through this time, James became the park’s most frequent volunteer. He earned the Presidential Volunteer Award.

As you can see, I was now committed to a lot of driving of James to far distant places, a task that would continue until the summer of 2016.

In January, Dr. Claudia raised my pay to $100 a page, which meant, basically, $100 an hour. This was really nice, to whip out 30 hours of work doing something I enjoyed and receiving a check for $3000. Nonetheless, my struggle with not-enough sleep only increased. I lit upon the idea that maybe my problem was our mattress. We did need a new one, and so I convinced Maureen that we needed to buy an organic foam mattress for $3500. In my mind, if I could sleep, paying this off would be a cinch. Once we had signed to buy, however, I knew that I had pressed too far. We may have been better served with “natural” foam at less than half that price. Nonetheless, that is our mattress until now and it is comfortable. But it did not improve my ability to sleep. And so writing literature reviews became more of a struggle.

In January, I wrote “Reading Engagement for African American Boys.” I really enjoyed that one. Then a second “Writing Blogs,” which had to be totally different from the first, for there could be no plagiarism. In fact, I cannot ever use lines from any of these papers elsewhere, for they are owned by the person who paid us. What I learned is mine, however, and if I needed to, I could draw from what I wrote so long as it is entirely re-worded.

After a number of lesser topics and some gaps in time due to my lack of good sleep, I wrote “Teaching Reading and Early Literacy” in May. This was a milestone for me in learning about the teaching of reading, something I value very much.

Waiting on God
I want to convey to you the meaning of this “holding pattern” I had found myself in, especially as I finished Musings on Union in February and March of 2015 and turned it into a printed book. I knew that I was waiting on God for something that was not yet clear.

The idea that both the Father and the Son lived in Person inside of me was increasing to me as something I did not know anything about, but wanted to know very much. What does God mean by living inside of us as another Person, His Person inside of our person? I thought maybe this could be the topic of my long-awaited The Jesus Secret II, but that idea did not develop.

I continued to write the present word, which I called “The Song of the Lamb,” but I did not really have an entire book in my mind. I knew that something else was needed.

Then, in the first week of May I wrote what would become one of the great turning points of my life and of the knowledge of God, the letter, “Sustained.” In that letter I wrote that, if Hebrews 1:3 is true, sustaining all things by the word of His power, then it MUST define everything that exists, that is, that Jesus actively and immediately sustains all things by His good speaking, that all things come out of the words that are Jesus every moment.

Let me place the importance of this moment inside of this “Time to Turn Around.”

The knowledge that every created thing, both physical and spiritual, is coming out from the good-speaking of Jesus every moment is not found in any Nicene thinking. And it ought not to be found there, for then, by the accusation that God knows evil, we would have had to place the “evil natures” of humans and angels as coming out from Jesus. And so God did not give me the truth of being sustained by the good speaking of Jesus until after I had removed all shadow of evil from my definition of God, and especially, from my definition of our redemption.

When I wrote “Seeing the Invisible One” in April of 2014, I possessed then a beginning view of the meaning of living “turned around.” Then, when I wrote “Sustained,” in May of 2015, God completed in my own life the entirety of living turned around. From that moment on, I have had no thought of “going into” God. In all things, I know only a fully completed Salvation entering my world through me.

Two other things happened with readers during these early months of 2015. The first is concerning Bonnie Morris. Bonnie had never really connected with the meaning of “Christ as us.” Yet by the end of Musings on Union, she finally understood what it meant and seemed to be “on board.” In fact, I had sent out one of her letters in my Christ Our Life email in August of 2014, titled, “So Great a Faith.” This was an excellent letter of encouragement in Christ.

At this point, I was still reading Fred Pruitt’s writing on occasion. I always marveled at the truth in what Fred shared and how close it was to what I was sharing. Sometime in early 2015, however, Fred wrote something that I did not witness to as being from the Lord. I mentioned that to Bonnie and she said, “Please send it to me to read.” I found myself very reluctant to do that, but I did send it to her.

Meanwhile, Bonnie had been writing a little booklet on natural health and she asked me to help her put it into book form through Amazon. I had done that and it was nearly ready to publish. I put quite a few hours working on Bonnie’s booklet for no pay. Then, I received a note from her saying that she had changed the whole thing and no longer needed what I had done. But she did want me to go back into the Amazon workspace and make her a new cover page. As an Asperger’s man, this kind of thing is very difficult for me to process.

At the same time, Bonnie sent me another letter to post in her portion of the dyordy.com website. When I read through this letter, I was stunned, for there was no speaking of life in it. It was placing obligation upon God’s people only. It seemed to me (and I have no knowledge if this is true or not) that Bonnie had reacted to the wrong spirit in Fred’s letter by chucking the whole idea of our union with Christ right out. Then I looked more closely at a number of Bonnie’s letters that were already on my site and was horrified to find that there was no speaking of Christ, but rather much obligation, a yoke no one can bear.

I replied to Bonnie, “Please forgive me, Bonnie, but I find that this present letter does not fit the truth I am sharing on my website. Also, I’m not feeling well; I’m sure you will be successful at creating the cover page yourself. Thank you for having compassion on me.”

I am very sad to say that Bonnie’s good encouragement of me over several years ended. I received nothing more from her except an occasional letter that she mailed out to many, things I could not read. When I finally closed out my dyordy.com website, her pages vanished as well.

“Lord Jesus, bless Bonnie right now with all our poured out blessing.”

And yet, from these experiences with both Chris Welch and Bonnie Morris, I realized that I could not attempt to share ministry with anyone who had not first proven a continued commitment to the word of our precious union with Christ, to the word of the revelation of Christ through us, to the word of a God who knows no evil, and to the humbling of one’s self before God and His people.

It was time to turn around.

Then, at some point during this chapter of my life, I received a strange envelope in the mail. This envelope contained a money order written to me for $100. There was no communication with it. The letter was postmarked somewhere in Kansas I had never heard of, and it came every month from then on. In the second or third such check, there was a very brief note stating that the sender expected no reply, not even to say “thank you.” The name on the address label was “Bill Horton,” but sometimes it was a “Mrs. Horton,” and sometimes it had a Nebraska address. So I had no idea who this was, man or woman, Nebraskan or Kansan. It was not someone on my mailing list.
Yet the checks continued month after month.

Finally, I think it was while I was sitting in the church parking lot in Spring, Texas, waiting while James practiced with the homeschool orchestra, that a most wondrous idea came flooding into me, the answer to how I could know this big question that was only continuing to grow inside of me.

What is God doing living inside of me, His Person inside of mine? What is He up to?

And in that moment, a new season of my life began.